♥
Thursday, May 24, 2007
oh blooey. time sure flies past. today's the last day of school (technically it's tomorrow but it's an open secret that's it's gonna be a full day =) and yea...mid years gonna start soon.
hm. time to discipline myself into studying.
since blogging is rumoured to have a cathartic effect, i shall now attempt to purge my turbulent emotions here.
Emotions really are fickle things. you'll never miss the water til the well runs dry. wonder if i got that right. yea...somehow when you stop getting those calls you take so much for granted, there's a sense of loss. and it's strange how it was so easy to get over it, and then suddenly it boomerangs back 2 months later to hit you hard in the face. and THEN. suddenly. you miss those smiles in school, those silly shoulder taps in the morning, 12 midnight convos, even the fights. ridiculous, but when it's gone you only miss the good things. but then again. i think we're better off on the platonic level.
maybe it's the rachael yamagata tragic mood talking.bleargh.
well. i suppose it gets easier after awhile to shove you to the inner recesses of my mind and pray hard that you'll disappear and stop surfacing to bug me. some days it's easier than others. some days i congratulate myself for the relative success of not thinking about it. and others i just want to curl up in a corner and think with emo music. then again, i'll survive.
take care, i've been hurt before. too much time spent on closing doors.
it'll be just as quiet when i leave, as it was when i first got here. don't expect anything. don't expect anything.
i keep telling myself that. it's gonna work when my heart registers that.
what if i was someone different in your history?
nuts.
i have stuff to thank God for actually. seriously, apart from all that, i honestly think that i am succeeding in finally pulling myself out of that spiritual rut that i've been stuck in the longest time. it's feels good to be back on track. it feels good to know that i'm doing the right thing; i haven't felt so clear about my goals in a long time. and somehow i can feel it in my bones that God's going to do something soon. so everyone be prepared for great and awesome things to come your way! =)
it's funny how the most normal and seemingly inconsequential people in our lives turn out to be ones who inspire us the most. it sounds rather ironic and yes it is. i think God purposely and strategically place these people in my life to help me through everything. so kudos to rainft, liping and sin ae =) you guys are truly inspirational. rainft, you never fail to cheer me up through my bad times and to always lend that listening ear when i need one. you always challenge me when i feel like my passion for God is running dry. thanks! and liping, even though i know you for less than a year, i feel like i've known you for many years :) seriously, i haven't found someone i can click with so readily in a long time. you truly inspire me with your bravery and your honesty. thanks for always being there when i need you. it's a twin thing. haha =) and sin ae, though we dont' talk as much as i'd like to, but you always make me feel so much more peaceful during my stressful periods. thanks for being so considerate and loving towards me. im so glad God put you in A11 :) and YOU roy...thanks for keeping my dirty little secret. haha.
whoa. that was a VERY loooong post. ok. time to catch a movie. ciao!
PS: EMERGE COMING UP!
♥
Thursday, May 24, 2007
oh blooey. time sure flies past. today's the last day of school (technically it's tomorrow but it's an open secret that's it's gonna be a full day =) and yea...mid years gonna start soon.
hm. time to discipline myself into studying.
since blogging is rumoured to have a cathartic effect, i shall now attempt to purge my turbulent emotions here.
Emotions really are fickle things. you'll never miss the water til the well runs dry. wonder if i got that right. yea...somehow when you stop getting those calls you take so much for granted, there's a sense of loss. and it's strange how it was so easy to get over it, and then suddenly it boomerangs back 2 months later to hit you hard in the face. and THEN. suddenly. you miss those smiles in school, those silly shoulder taps in the morning, 12 midnight convos, even the fights. ridiculous, but when it's gone you only miss the good things. but then again. i think we're better off on the platonic level.
maybe it's the rachael yamagata tragic mood talking.bleargh.
well. i suppose it gets easier after awhile to shove you to the inner recesses of my mind and pray hard that you'll disappear and stop surfacing to bug me. some days it's easier than others. some days i congratulate myself for the relative success of not thinking about it. and others i just want to curl up in a corner and think with emo music. then again, i'll survive.
take care, i've been hurt before. too much time spent on closing doors.
it'll be just as quiet when i leave, as it was when i first got here. don't expect anything. don't expect anything.
i keep telling myself that. it's gonna work when my heart registers that.
what if i was someone different in your history?
nuts.
i have stuff to thank God for actually. seriously, apart from all that, i honestly think that i am succeeding in finally pulling myself out of that spiritual rut that i've been stuck in the longest time. it's feels good to be back on track. it feels good to know that i'm doing the right thing; i haven't felt so clear about my goals in a long time. and somehow i can feel it in my bones that God's going to do something soon. so everyone be prepared for great and awesome things to come your way! =)
it's funny how the most normal and seemingly inconsequential people in our lives turn out to be ones who inspire us the most. it sounds rather ironic and yes it is. i think God purposely and strategically place these people in my life to help me through everything. so kudos to rainft, liping and sin ae =) you guys are truly inspirational. rainft, you never fail to cheer me up through my bad times and to always lend that listening ear when i need one. you always challenge me when i feel like my passion for God is running dry. thanks! and liping, even though i know you for less than a year, i feel like i've known you for many years :) seriously, i haven't found someone i can click with so readily in a long time. you truly inspire me with your bravery and your honesty. thanks for always being there when i need you. it's a twin thing. haha =) and sin ae, though we dont' talk as much as i'd like to, but you always make me feel so much more peaceful during my stressful periods. thanks for being so considerate and loving towards me. im so glad God put you in A11 :) and YOU roy...thanks for keeping my dirty little secret. haha.
whoa. that was a VERY loooong post. ok. time to catch a movie. ciao!
PS: EMERGE COMING UP!
